Hov’s Top 10 Trash-Talking Tips

Tim Hovland, headed into the USA Volleyball Hall of Fame, during the Manhattan Beach Open Legends match in 2014/Ed Chan, VBShots.com

Browsing through our archives, the VBM editorial team discovered this gem in a 1997 issue of the magazinetrash talking lines courtesy of the top trash talker ever to play on the AVP tour, Tim Hovland. Ever use any of these lines? Younger players may have trouble making sense of some of these lines, after all, it’s much more unlikely that a team would pull off a comeback after being down 14-9 in a 15 points game now that we no longer play side-out scoring, but others prove to be timeless pearls.

1. After a bad set: Do you eat with those hands? or Are you on a diet?

2. After you use the block for a point: Can you say Black & Decker?

3. After a good block: Stare at your opponent and yell, Do you want a dime for another call? (Youre in the phone booth, no way out.)

4. After a shanked pass: Shanks a lot.

5. After you pound one straight down: You cant dig what you cant see.

6. After you dig their best hit: Do you want your lips back to eat with?

7. After trailing 14-9 and they choke the game: Dangle the carrot, or You have been dangled.

8. After the referee blows a call: Stop thinking about the cheeseburger and french fries with a double thick shake (Marvin). Or Stop thinking about the blonde in the third row, there’s no way.

9. After you serve an ace to end the game: You have been spaded, or Do the spade dance a la Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

10. After being on the AVP tour and going winless: Ask for a job as a roadie, or Dont quit your day job.


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